Demented Sons Series Volume One: Books 1-4 (Demented Sons MC Iowa) Read online

  I could only hope that I could be a better father than I was a man.

  SHOCK CONSUMED ME AS I stood on the sidewalk staring down the road. I couldn’t believe what had happened. Of all the scenarios I imagined of me telling him about Remi, that was definitely not one of them. And what did he mean, I replaced him?

  I’d wanted to arrange a time to talk to him and explain. I wanted to introduce Remi to her daddy. I thought… shit, I didn’t know what I thought.

  In a daze, I turned and reentered the bar. Slowly, I walked back to the table where Remi sat with Mama eating her chicken nuggets and fries.

  “Thank you for sitting with her.”

  Mama looked up at me with concern as I dropped into the seat across from them. Trying to swallow the baseball-sized lump in my throat, I stared at my shaking hands. My mind was whirling, and I was fighting to keep the heavy tears pooling in my eyes from falling.

  Mama reached a small but strong hand over and placed it on top of mine. Quietly, she squeezed them in a reassuring manner.

  “I only heard a little of the situation back here but enough to know you and Reaper have some things to talk about and work out, hon. I think maybe what I wanted to talk to you about can wait. You already have a lot on your plate.” She patted my hands and began to pull away, but I caught her hand and met her gaze as I choked back my tears.

  “No, Mama, I’m good.” I sniffed and gave her a wobbly smile. “Really. Please, talk to me. Is everything okay? I’ll do what I can to help you if there’s something you need.”

  “Ummm, well.” She took a deep breath. “I was going to talk to you about taking over the Oasis. Pops and I have been talking about retiring so we can travel more while we’re still able, and I can’t let just anyone take over. It’s the only baby I’ve ever had besides those boys. You’re part of this town, Steph, and you grew up with the Oasis. When you told me what you went to school for, well….”

  That was the last thing I’d expected her to tell me. I thought maybe she needed help with reorganization or menus or something. I didn’t know what to say.

  The wheels in my head started spinning at about 200 miles an hour as my mouth flopped open and shut like a damn fish.

  Mama took in my expression and burst out in her raspy, raucous laugh.

  “Girl, you look like the little bass I caught last week out at the lake! We can talk more later. You just think on it.” She started to leave the booth.

  “Wait! Mama, I don’t know. I mean, what I meant to say was I don’t have that kind of money. I wouldn’t know where to begin! I… well… I’m so flattered, but I’m so… wow,” I stammered as unbidden ideas for the bar popped in my head one after the other.

  “Well, we could probably work something out. You know the club takes care of their own. The way I see it, after the bit I heard earlier, little Miss Remi here is a connection of the club, whether you like it or not. You give that boy time to cool off and then talk to him. He’s usually a quiet one, but he has a level head. He’ll come around.”

  At the sound of her name, Remi looked up with a mouthful of chicken nugget and shouted, “Wemi!” patting herself on the chest.

  We both laughed as I hugged her close and kissed the top of her dark, silky curls.

  Mama and I spent the next hour or more going over thoughts and plans for how I could take over the Oasis. The more we talked and the more I thought about it, the thought of coming home was nothing but right.

  A warmth started in my soul and was spreading outward.

  We had decided if I could come up with a down payment, we would draw up a contract where I could make monthly payments to her. I’d then have the option to refinance when I was able. I could make changes to the bar menu and remodel as long as the changes met Mama’s approval until it was refinanced in my name. The longer we sat talking, the more excited I was to go home and discuss the opportunity with my parents.

  One by one, I began ticking off everything in my life that needed to be addressed.

  My apartment was on a month-to-month because I’d been there past my one-year lease term and hadn’t gotten around to signing a new one. I could turn in my notice at work and pack while I worked out my final days at the restaurant. It wasn’t like I had a lot to pack; everything would probably fit in my SUV and a small rental trailer.

  Colton was furious with me. Though it ripped out my heart, I didn’t expect him to forgive me. I just prayed he’d come around and want to be a daddy to Remi. She deserved to have her mommy and her daddy in her life.

  If we were able to sit down and talk, we could work out a visitation schedule. He wouldn’t need to interact with me unless it had to do with Remi’s care or future. My chest ached as if there was a gaping hole where my heart had been at the thought of being so close to him and yet not being able to touch him and be with him.

  Fate was a cruel bitch.

  My phone pinged with a message as Remi and I pulled up in front of my parents’ house. When I saw it was from Colton, my heart lurched. With shaking hands, I opened the message.

  Colton: We need to talk. Tonight. Meet me at the Oasis. Dress for a ride.

  Oh shit. Trying to gain control of my raging emotions, I closed my eyes. Then I quickly tapped out a reply.

  Me: I’ll see what I can do.

  Gathering Remi from the car, I carefully set her on her feet and held her until I knew she had her balance. Hand in hand, we walked across the brick-paved sidewalk to the steps.

  As I opened the door, she pulled her hand from mine and ran into the house, shouting, “Gama! Gampa!” I couldn’t help my sad smile as I heard her squeal with laughter.

  With a heavy heart, I hung my keys on one of the hooks by the door and took my shoes off, lining them up neatly on the mat.

  Taking a deep, fortifying breath, I walked down the short hall to the kitchen. Stopping in the doorway, I leaned on the frame. Quietly, I absorbed the domestic warmth that always emanated from my mother’s kitchen.

  Both of my parents looked up from the table where they sat having coffee. Remi sat in my dad’s lap, and he was letting her scoop sugar in his cup as he directed her. He was prepared to catch her hand if she spilled. After he took the spoon from her, Remi leaned back into my dad and rubbed her eyes as her Cupid’s bow mouth stretched in a little yawn.

  I walked forward and reached for her. “I’m going to lay this one down for a short nap. If you both have a minute, there are some things I need to talk to you both about.”

  “Of course, honey. We’ll be right here when you’re done.” My mom gave Remi a wave and blew her a kiss as I carried her out to the living room where we had set up a Pack ’n Play for her naps.

  I lay her down, tucking her snuggle blankie and her favorite stuffed elephant up under her chin. She barely fit in the thing anymore, she was getting so big. With a sigh, she rubbed her face in the blankie and her eyes drifted closed. Our little adventure had worn her clean out.

  Nervous, I returned to the kitchen and sat at the table. Feeling the need to do something with my hands, I started twisting a napkin. I had a hard time meeting either of my parents’ eyes as I began to recite the same conversation I’d had with my brother earlier.

  With regret, I told them about Michael and Colton, but also added the conversation I’d had with Mama earlier. By the time I’d finished, bits of napkin were piled in front of me and tears ran down my cheeks and neck, soaking the collar of my T-shirt.

  My parents had yet to say a word. I hesitantly looked up at them, and my dad reached out for me. He pulled me from my chair and hugged me tight in his arms, like when I was young.

  Mom reached over, rubbing her hand on my back in a soothing manner.

  Dad spoke first.

  “Stephanie, I wish you’d told us this when you were pregnant and everyone was beating you up about being selfish. We could’ve tried to help you find him if we’d known the truth. I know your brothers and I were hard on you back then, and I’m sorry for that. So sorry. We love y
ou. We want what’s best for you, and while we would have preferred things to have worked out in a different order for you, we wouldn’t trade that little girl for the world. She was the best gift you could’ve given any of us.” He looked at my mother, seeming to have a conversation without words.

  “Colton wants to talk to me tonight. Would you mind watching Remi again?” I asked.

  “That’s no trouble at all,” Mom assured me. “It’s best to talk to him and get things sorted out ASAP.”

  “Why don’t you go wash your face with cool water and lie down for a bit?” Dad suggested. “I want to talk to your mother about a few things, and we can talk again tonight, okay?”

  Nodding, I accepted a kiss from my mom, then trudged upstairs. Skipping the bathroom, I collapsed on my bed.

  God, how has my life become such a train wreck?

  IMPATIENT, I SAT ON my bike in front of the Oasis, waiting for Stephanie to arrive. She’d sent me a message saying she’d be there by eight o’clock. It was 7:55.

  Then I saw an older SUV turn into the square and park two spots up from where I sat. Slowly, she got out, tucked her key into her tight pocket, and walked over to me. She was tugging at the hem of her shirt nervously, her bottom lip held by her teeth. Those beautiful eyes looked up at me, and I handed her the helmet I’d been holding on my leg for her. She took it from me, cinching it down tight.

  “Get on.”

  She didn’t question me but threw her leg over the back of my bike, settling her chest against my back. Then she wrapped her slender arms around my torso, locking her hands over my abs. The feel of those plump tits pressed into my back made my cock jump. It was difficult to ignore how good they felt pushed up against me.

  Fucking hell. That wasn’t what this time was supposed to be about.

  Down, boy… she has someone else. Too bad he didn’t want to listen. Traitorous bastard.

  With a rumble of pipes, I started my bike. By rote, I flicked it in gear with the toe of my boot, eased off the clutch and onto the throttle, and we took off down the road. I knew exactly where I was taking her. I needed us to be alone without interruptions.

  When I pulled up to the boat landing and hit the kill switch, she hopped off my bike like it was on fire. She headed over to the picnic table under the tree, taking off the helmet as she walked.

  Entranced by her nearness, I followed her and tried to keep myself from staring at the full globes of her ass in her tight jeans. It didn’t fucking work.

  Suddenly unsure, I sat on the top of the table, placing my feet on the bench seat. Resting my elbows on my knees, I ran my hands through the hair on the top of my head. It was all I could do to keep my distance from her. It took phenomenal willpower to keep my fucking hands from reaching out to pull her curvy body close to mine.

  We both started to speak at the same time.

  “I don’t—”

  “I’m sorry, Steph—”

  “Umm, you go ahead,” she said quietly.

  Inhaling deeply, I blew it out hard and studied the section of the bench between my booted feet.

  “I’m sorry, Stephanie. I was a dick today, and I fucking know it. You didn’t deserve that, nor did you deserve my hateful thoughts. I’ve had time to cool my shit and think today. I was a fucking douche for accusing you of keeping our daughter from me. After thinking about it, I realized you had no way of contacting me. What you don’t know was the next morning, as you were sleeping, I wrote my name and number down for you. But then I felt stupid and threw it in your trash. Earlier, at the Oasis, I didn’t remember pitching it, just that I’d written it. My fucked-up head latched on to that and pronounced you guilty. I can’t even imagine you going through all of that alone, and I feel like a complete piece of shit.” I looked into her beautiful blue eyes. “I need you to know I’d never before and haven’t since been with anyone without a fucking condom. Ever. I don’t even know why I didn’t with you. I have no excuses, Stephanie. It was a real dick move on my part. I’d like to say I’m sorry, but after seeing her, I just can’t.”

  She didn’t look like she was overly happy when I mentioned the chicks after her, but fuck, it wasn’t like we’d been together back then. Hell, she was with someone else now.

  God, why did the thought of her fucking someone else piss me off so bad? Knots tightened in my stomach. Jesus, I needed to stop thinking about it. And I certainly hadn’t been a fucking monk. Never claimed to be.

  “Colton—” she began, but I cut her off.

  “It’s Reaper. Just Reaper. I don’t even feel like Colton exists anymore.” In all honesty, I tried to keep him buried. Colton was fucking weak and stupid. Colton had held on to a ridiculous notion of love for a woman in a goddamn cell phone pic.

  “Okay, umm, Reaper….” She seemed unsure as she said my road name. “You’re right, I had no way to get in touch with you. I only knew your first name. I knew very little about you, which didn’t give me much to go on to track you down. Trust me, I would never have chosen for things to play out like they did. I didn’t try to get pregnant, I didn’t try to keep you and your daughter apart, but I wouldn’t change it for the world. She is my world. If you want the honest-to-God truth, Colton—I mean, um, Reaper, I thought about you every damn day.” Her voice cracked on the last word. I looked over in time to see her discreetly touch a finger under her eye to catch the lone escaped tear.

  “Stephanie, it’s okay. I get it now. And I don’t fucking blame you for finding someone else. I just hope he’s good to you and our daughter.” It killed me to say that. Fuck, did it rip me apart.

  Confusion masked her beautiful face as she reached out to rest a hand on my forearm. A jolt shot up my arm at her touch.

  “I’m not with anyone, Reaper. I came here this weekend to get the hell away from the guy I was seeing, but I don’t know if you would say we were even really dating. He ended up not being who I thought he was.” She looked me in the eyes with a distressed expression.

  “Stephanie, I saw you dancing with him at the birthday bash. I figured that was why you took off after we hooked up. It’s okay though. It was nothing. I know things got out of control; we were both half drunk and not using sound judgment. I won’t say anything to him or anyone else. I swear.” Jesus, it gutted me to make it sound as if Friday night didn’t mean the fucking world to me, as if I didn’t feel whole when her body was next to mine. I wanted to punch my-damn-self for lying like that.

  She stood up, then knelt on the bench between my boots, cradling my face in her soft hands. She lifted my head to look at her, and when I met her beautiful pale blue eyes, a flood of emotion ripped open my chest.

  “First of all, Chas—the guy you saw me dancing with—is an old friend from high school, and he’s gay. So what you thought you saw was definitely not what it actually was. Funny enough, I was behind you in line at Fareway the other day. Of course, I didn’t know it was you at the time, but you intrigued me. Then when I saw you standing over by Erik and my brother? Well, maybe it was the alcohol—no, definitely the alcohol—but I was dancing for you.” She laughed nervously. “Shoot, I should probably be asking if you have someone.”

  She wasn’t with him.

  He was gay, for Christ’s sake. Definitely not interested in her in that way.

  Holy shit. I’d seriously jumped to conclusions. It had me feeling like a dumb fuck.

  “Jesus, Stephanie, no. There isn’t anyone else.” I scrubbed my face with my hands. “I’m not going to lie to you and tell you I haven’t been with anyone else. But every fucking one of them? I pretended they were you.”

  “I think I would prefer not to imagine that.” She laughed again, but it faded away as hunger crept into her gaze.

  Everything around us stood still as she leaned in to gently kiss me. As soon as our lips touched, it was as if a fire ignited. A kiss couldn’t be soft and gentle between us; our kisses were desperate, frantic—a battle of tongues, lips, and teeth. A crazy attempt to make up for lost time.

 
; Grabbing her ass, I hauled her up to straddle my lap. Shamelessly, I pulled her jean-covered pussy tight against my cock as it strained against my zipper. A sharp intake of her breath against my mouth sucked the oxygen from me. A soft exhale morphed to a moan as I ground against her.

  With my arms wrapped tight around her, I pressed her into my chest and threaded my fingers deep into her tangled blonde curls. When I broke from the kiss, both of us gasped for air. Needy, I pulled her head back by her hair to gain better access to kiss and nip on her soft, smooth skin.

  Damn, she tasted better than I remembered.

  I slipped a hand under her shirt and lifted it above the top of her bra. I almost lost my fucking mind when I saw her breasts swelling up over her lacy bra as they heaved with each breath.

  Done waiting, I pushed her bra down, leaned over to run my tongue along the curve of her plump tit, and then sucked it into my mouth. As I groaned, the tip puckered against my tongue.

  She held my head close to her chest, but she didn’t keep me from going back and forth between her lush nipples.

  Pulling back abruptly, I released her with a popping sound. Impatient, I captured her mouth with mine and squeezed both luscious breasts in my hands. When her breath quickened and her back arched, I knew she was close to coming from our juvenile actions.

  Relentless, I persisted. It wasn’t long before her body stiffened and she stopped grinding her hips to press herself tight to me. Then she buried her head in my shoulder as she groaned into my neck. As she stiffened, she bit down on the spot where my neck met my shoulder.

  “That’s right, baby. Don’t hold back. Come for me. Don’t stop.” I held her tight as I rained kisses on her head and nipped her ear through her curtain of hair.

  Holding her by her ass, I slid off the table and dropped to my knees, laying her back as gently as I could into the soft green grass. Kneeling between her legs, I looked down at her flushed face and the wild tangle of curls spread out on the ground.